June 2011
11 posts
R.I.P Ryan Dunn
Earlier this morning Bam Marger’s mother confirmed that Ryan Dunn from Jackass died in a car crash. TMZ just reported that Dunn and an unidentified person died in the crash on Route 322 and New Street in West Goshen Township. Just a few hours before he had been seen drinking with some friends in a picture he posted on Twitter.
The car crashed and caught fire and a few hours later a tow truck was called. TMZ are posting updates as soon as they hear any more news.
I Wish He Was My Dad!
It’s Father’s Day tomorrow as you all know, so I thought I’d supply you with a post about those male actors that are so awesome they make you say ‘wow, I wish he was my dad.’
Albus Dumbledore. Headmaster of Hogwarts. You wish he was your dad because he’s the greatest wizard since Merlin took his first magical baby steps. He has a phoenix for a pet, the elder wand which is the most powerful wand in existence (say hello to literally ANYTHING you can think up in that tiny muggle born mind of yours), a bitchin’ beard, and oh yeah, he can aparate inside of Hogwarts. You know why? Because he’s Albus Fucking Dumbledore. That’s why.
Sweeney Todd. Why on earth would you want him to be your father? Sweeney Todd returned to England after Alan Rickman raped his wife and caused her to go insane, took his baby daughter and banished him to Australia. God dammit Alan Rickman, first you kill Dumbledore and now this? Sweeney comes back to England for revenge on Judge Turpin (Rickman)while slashing the shit out of everyone who comes within a foot of him.What time is it Sweeney? Time to die. *slash* *mince* *bake* 1 fat hobo pie comin’ up!
He finds out Joanna, his daughter, is alive and being kept in Judge Turpin’s house. He devises a plan to get her back,but, well shit happens.
My point is you want him as your father because if anyone abducted you,hurt you or raped your mother he wouldn’t hesitate to kill a bitch. And at the end of the day he’d still be Johnny Depp.
Liam Neeson. He menntored Batman, he mentored Obi-Wan Kanobi, he was a forklift operator for Guinness, an assistant architect and an amateur boxer. He can build you a house, beat the shit out of bats and Ewan McGregor, AND work a forklift while drunk on Guinness all at the same damn time. Because that’s what Liam Neeson does!
And that’s why he should be my father? Not only that. But for anyone who has seen the film Taken, you’ll know that if Liam Neeson was your father, and you got kidnapped, or your boyfriend kept you out a second passed your curfew, he’d ring you up or mind fuck you with these words: I don’t know who you are but if you don’t let my daughter go I will find you and I will kill you. And he’ll do just that. Awwwh what a good father.
The possibility of anyone having a space robot for a dad is low. If somehow these autobots could mate with us humans (granted we’d have to be some giant freaks of nature)…
But wouldn’t Optimus be the ultimate dad? He can drive you anywhere whenever you like, no ones gonna pick on Optimus Primes kid, everytime he speaks he’d inspire the shit out of you. Although being a hybrid kid could mean you either turn out like Terminator or Robin Williams in bicentennial man,no one wants that.
